I'm back I think?

Back here after months of not posting anything, I'm quite bad at blogging as you see.
Thinking back I haven't done anything significant this year, just existing doing nothing.
But since I want to try to start writing again I should talk about something that is common for this time of the year; Top lists of music.
I made this the other day while listening through my korean playlist trying to decide what I enjoyed the most from the year that has passed.

I set myself a limit to 1 song per artist (Collabs and solos doesn't count) or else it would be filled with the same artist. (links to songs are over the name, most goes to spotify)
Hopefully I didn't forget any songs that I listened to alot.

Top 15 korean songs of 2015

BTS - Baepsae

Simon D - Won & only

Rap Monster - Voice

Zion.t feat Crush - Just

DEAN - Pour up

Code kunst - PARACHUTE

F(x) - X

Hyukoh - Comes and goes

Lim Kim - Awoo

IKON - APOLOGY

Yankie - Sold out

BASTARZ - Zero for Conduct

Crush – You & I

EXO - EL DORADO (chinese ver)

B.A.P Young, Wild & Free

Honorable Mentions:

Red velvet - Dumb Dumb

VIXX – Chained up

Solo – Jay Park

TWICE-Like OOH-AHH

BIGBANG - Bang bang bang

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Kay I feel abit better after writing it out but now I really need to lie down for a while, maybe try to think of concepts to draw.

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It’s one of those days again when I feel absolutely worthless and question my life choices. There are so many things that I want to do, but I feel that I’ll never grasp the things needed for them to come true. Doubting myself in every kind of way, that the skills that I have attained will never be of any use or that I’m simply not good enough.

Even if I try to clear my mind by doing other things and tell myself that it will work out in the end, it somehow makes me even more doubtful. I’m really tired of feeling this way, especially when it has been this prominent for the last 4 months. But I have no idea how to change it which in turn stresses me even more.

I don’t even know if the things I’m trying to do to make myself happier will have any effect. Everything just feels worthless to do, to wake up in the morning, taking walks, draw, talk, eat or do anything. I know that they aren’t, and that I really shouldn’t complain over my life that has been mostly going smoothly for the last 20 years. It just feels like I’m stuck in this deep well and can’t get up.

I have been trying to put this into words for so long but really I suck at writing down or saying clearly how I feel.

From sketch to finished painting

I have been working on this painting for a while and now I'm finally finished. so here are basically the progress that I have been uploading on twitter while making it ;W:

Awakening

Like Namjoon dropped this MV earlier today and holy shit this makes me even more excited for the mixtape. When I heard it for the first time I was like silent and then shouted YEAHH slay them~
Really though even if the song itself is pretty short it really left an impression, atleast on me.

Titles

I'm home alone, blasting music in my room and drawing. Recently I have begun listening to korean hip hop alot more and there are some idol groups that have incredible rappers, so I thought that I would share some of them today. They usually get alot of shit from critics about how they are not real to hip hop or in similar ways but I think in their solo projects they really show off their abilities.

I'm sitting here waiting for Namjoon's (RM) mixtape to come out hopefully it will be amazing. (silently waits for Yoongi to release his mixtape aswell)

 Should I do recommendations like this often.. hmm maybe.

Sing along with me

I have been feeling abit down today, not really knowing what to do with myself and hiding under blankets. So I have been trying to listen to music that is chill to get out of it.

Look at them krokusar

My driving lesson was cancelled today so I decided to go out for a walk instead since the weather was really nice and everything. Sunny days make me happy after so many gray and dark winter months. Too bad that I’ll soon end up sniffling and stuff because of my allergies, as for someone who loves spring it’s kind of a setback. 

I'm also trying to lose weight is hard but slowly removing a few kilos a month I guess that’s good enough.  To kinda motivate myself I dress nicely and/or wear make-up to boost my self-confidence for my own sake. 

Make-up you say?

I got asked to to a quick make-up tutorial and here it is c: (sorry for the terrible lightning)

Firstly the products that I use:

                                  Basically tons of products from Etude house and Canmake. 

                          Price range for all of them are like middle, nothing too expensive or cheap

Before adding any make-up I usually wash my face and apply any kind of face cream since my skin goes really dry whenever I use make-up. It also serves as a base for the BB cream. I also got quite rough skin so I usually have to add alot more of every product.

                                                             (yay for my bare face)

Here I have basically added my BB cream and concealer (under the eyes for the dark circles). When applying it you should spread it out in circular motions so it won’t leave any weird smudges in the skin.

After the skin base I start with the eyes, a bright eye shadow for the base and then blend in a pink or orange shade from about the middle of the lid.

With a smaller brush I then add brown eye shadow to contour the eyes and make a small triangular shape in the lower corner of the eye.

Time for the eyeliner, I use a brown liquid one, you need a steady hand and quick movements for it to look good. This time it became abit messy but I fixed it later. For the wings I kinda measure from the bottom lid and where my crease starts to make them at least abit similar. I also remembered that I had forgotten to add my translucent powder, blush and I also added some eye shadow to the eyebrows.

Add mascara to the lashes, depending on how I feel it’s usually 1 or 2 layers.

Then it's time for the magic sparkly liner~ it just has to be applied as close to the tear line as you dare. It makes your eyes look a lot bigger and awake.  

 Last touches are a very natural lipstick and lip tinter and that’s basically it. I don't think it helped because I'm terrible at explaining things ahaha.

                                                                   Finished look~