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It’s one of those days again when I feel absolutely worthless and question my life choices. There are so many things that I want to do, but I feel that I’ll never grasp the things needed for them to come true. Doubting myself in every kind of way, that the skills that I have attained will never be of any use or that I’m simply not good enough.

Even if I try to clear my mind by doing other things and tell myself that it will work out in the end, it somehow makes me even more doubtful. I’m really tired of feeling this way, especially when it has been this prominent for the last 4 months. But I have no idea how to change it which in turn stresses me even more.

I don’t even know if the things I’m trying to do to make myself happier will have any effect. Everything just feels worthless to do, to wake up in the morning, taking walks, draw, talk, eat or do anything. I know that they aren’t, and that I really shouldn’t complain over my life that has been mostly going smoothly for the last 20 years. It just feels like I’m stuck in this deep well and can’t get up.

I have been trying to put this into words for so long but really I suck at writing down or saying clearly how I feel.